Over the last seven years countless atrocities have been committed against my life here in the UK. They destroyed anybody who realised my spiritual worth leaving me forsaken and betrayed into direst of poverty; isolated, cast out completely alone. They tore my life apart with detriment then fed from depravity and suffering their projected malice inflicted; relishing in sadism that deliberate acts of spiteful malcontent brought to their unyielding jealousy and outright envy.
“Trinitarians crucifying me as a child molester was the most desolating and detrimental thing they could have done in disparity to me being recognised as a transsexual incarnation of a Hindu child goddess.”
Christian Trinitarians covertly followed me to emotionally encroach on my epiphanies; these enlightened connections were forced into renouncing me (as either a mistake or as a goddess abducting molester) and offered a ‘salvation’ through being manipulated into ‘word became flesh’ animation covenant.
“The word nonce (child abuser) is often used as a racial epithet against white males; usually when slandered by hateful racist black supremacists out casting in encroachment of opportunity because they racially deem themselves more worthy, more deserving than anybody else”
Those who refused to renounce and take covenant were literately sent to ‘hell on earth’; brutally abducted and miscegenation raped, others were mutilated unrecognisable as farm animals whilst evil, parasitic Negro captors attempted to feed from their horrendous suffering.
The measure of suffering that my faithful devotees have been through is incomprehensible. Sacrificed through a spiritual holocaust in ‘all out’ life depriving Trinitarian attempt to create a living Negro God has fulfilled criteria amounting to genocide as described and defined by the United Nations Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide.
Apart from being spat in the face and having my bones kick broken in half; the majority of inflictions against myself have been psychological / psychosomatic. Years of non-stop ritual abuse, sleep deprivation, police torture, stalking and harassment, slander, desecration, threats, isolation, betrayal, duplicity, false charity, gender identity discrimination and persistent deformation unto my person has left me jolted with flash backs and boiling alive in debilitating anxiety; a serious toll on my mental health.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
In all the years I was traumatised by my mothers gruelling illness I never once experienced any psychosomatic symptoms of PTSD. It was not until I came back from India did I become unwell from horrendous atrocities committed against me whilst sleeping on the streets.
Every morning I wake (usually around 4am) flash backs come, images of terror revisit, the glance in my eyes averts and drags to one side, my heart races, heightened emotions exacerbate disparity running aches and pains built up from release of lactic acid throughout my entire body .
“Unwell with raging anxiety & sharp hyper awareness; moving through hoping to find at least a glimmer of happiness on my 40th birthday today.” Blodeuwedd, Twitter – 13th May 2014
Cognitive processes have also scrambled, I now experience time delay / slip where hyper arousal succeeds to induce blur of comprehension; a wakeful lethargy. Four years I have been diagnosed with this disorder and still I am yet to be offered / receive any treatment for it despite verbal petition to health authorities from both myself and concerned friends.
Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
The more trauma I received the more sensitive I became, before compartmentalisation trauma anchored itself to whatever objects were around at the time. These anchors later become triggers, encountering these anchor triggers body feels in danger, perceptions heighten, flood gates of awareness open to receive yet more corresponding anchors and so the downward spiral of generalised anxiety goes deeper and deeper.
When thousands of anchors accumulate until your rationality can’t comprehend them, this is when irrational fear becomes prevalent, an invisible wall impressed upon a world you cannot reach.
In deformation of my Zodiac rising sign being Aquarius they denounced me as ‘Rain man’ ritually abusing me with water, mostly whilst I was laid unconscious unable to defend myself because of nervous and physical exhaustion. They also followed and abused me wherever I would try to acquire water (from outside taps, public toilets) until I became phobic of approaching water. So despondent did I become that I stopped drinking for seven days; my urine turned into a thick, brown acidic mud. I was warned by a paramedic to start drinking copious amounts of water immediately as my body was beginning to shut down. Seven years to this day I still have psychosomatic symptoms related to anxiety / hyper arousal problems when drinking and showering in water.
People often commonly mistake people who self harm as a danger to others when self harm only ever turns in on oneself. I never once self harmed until I was inflicted with targeted abuses / trauma. Whilst interned on acute wards in mental hospitals completely desensitised with trauma and spurred by anxiety fuelled suicidal tendencies I made huge slashes cutting deep into my forearm arms.
I felt sick, infected with terrible abuses I’d endured; in sense of release I thought I could bleed this dark infection out of me which felt like death flowing through my veins. I equate rationality behind self harm to the Victorian era of medicine when people use to blood let to alleviate physical ailment. So common was this practice that people suffering illness could acquire a blood letting session at their local barbers. this the meaning behind the spiral red and white striped tubes you’ll often see hanging outside off the wall of classic barber shops.
Gender Identity Disorder (Gender Dysphoria)
This is something I was born with but the subject is of relevance because (in attempt to recast me as a father) the Trinitarian Death Cult made every effort to deny, defile and suppress my expression of gender identity.
Since 2003 I have had a treated diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria; four specialist psychiatrists have made this diagnosis, first being diagnosed in 2003 and then diagnosed again in 2014.
“Gender dysphoria feels as though your soul is trapped inside a box of ill fitting corners; a persistent discomfort which heightens and elaborates when being stigmatised with impressions of male gender identity. My hands feel heavy and much to big as do my feet, my jaw line and cranium contours feel wrong, dig into my soul like an elbow in the ribs”.
“In mockery of my both my asexuality and gender identity the death cult associated me with psycho-sexual connotations through using the phallic shape of edible bananas. Hundreds if not thousands of outings (stigmatising by announcing me as male in front of crowds of people) in refute of my gender identity happened over the years”.
I remained in blatantly obvious female role throughout this heinous character onslaught; bizarrely being racially chased down and out as a ‘paedophile, absentee father’ to ugly African Child by this hideous black supremacist, genocidal death cult.